Owning a football club is one of those pipe dreams for winning the pools, along with a toilet made out of solid gold and a King Ralph bowling alley in the shed. Even winning the pools is one of those things about the game that has almost vanished, almost worth a blog of it’s own.

But what sort of football club owner would you be? In the first of a two-part blog, we look at three Premier League clubs, and how their main owners have got involved, and what will come next?

Arsenal – Stan Kroenke

‘Silent’ Stan is married to the daughter of the founder of Wal-Mart, and is well-known in America for owning various sports clubs. Now the majority shareholder in Arsenal, he has overseen a period where the club seem to be accruing money like it’s going out of fashion. Of course he’s used his own money to buy shares in the club, but with Arsene Wenger at the helm, does he need to invest anything in the team?

With a transfer kitty of over £50m available and gaining interest, the new ground being paid off, and new deals on the horizon, his investment is growing without real success on the pitch. The fans crave a trophy, but hey ho, surely UEFA will boot everyone else out and give the Champions League to the Gunners by default?

Chelsea – Roman Abramovich

Stamford Bridge had been poodling along for a while under the ownership of Papa Smurf, with such ideas as electrifying the perimeter fences to keep the fans from misbehaving… In 2003, present manager Claudio Ranieri suddenly was shown a massive bag of Russian money and new signings a-plenty. Of course he didn’t last long, but the seed was sown. Millions spent, millions wasted.

League titles followed, but it seems that Mourinho, Scolari, Ancelotti etc will be followed out the revolving door by Villas Boas unless the Champions League trophy comes soon. The fact that they start with ten men whenever Torres is in the line up doesn’t help. They have no chance when their sharpest shooter is Ashley Cole… Their aim to break even seems further away than ever.

Manchester City – Sheikh Mansour

City were one of those clubs whose glory days seemed long ago. Within recent memory, they graced the third tier of English football, and it was a bad time to be neighbour to Manchester United. All was to being to change in 2007, when Thai Elvis impersonator (and corrupt politician etc) Thaksin Shinawatra bought the club. He only lasted a year before being substituted by Abu Dhabi royal Sheikh Mansour (and an awful lot of money).

So far, several million pounds have gone on some of Europe’s finest, and $amir Na$ri. An FA Cup has come so far, and while they appear to have lost Carlos Tevez down the back of the sofa, at least they can afford to take a stance. Roberto Mancini’s shoddy European record aside (another thing he brought from Italy), they are currently top of the league and no doubt will return for another crack at Europe next year. Unless Financial Fair Play comes out of nowhere… Of course their bench alone is worth more than most small countries, but as long as they keep loaning them out, everyone’s happy!

Part Two will look at Manchester United and the glorious Glazers, Liverpool and their saviours (plus a look at Statler and Waldorf), and Newcastle’s Mike Ashley’s project, which seems to be unpopular yet promising.

 @fantana275

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