As my primary school years are metaphorically bathed in summer sun through ornate stain glass windows as I think of John Barnes gliding down the wing, my teenage years are scarred with images of a fat John Barnes passing the ball no further than 5 yards and nearly always backwards. I don’t want to go through the same with Stevie G!

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The reason I bring this up is that current England captain marvel Steven Gerrard is starting to get on a bit and is to my early adulthood what Mr. Barnes was to my late childhood. In any summary of Stevie G a pundit will use ‘box-to-box’ and ‘Hollywood pass and I’m going to be no different. For me I’ll just use the Sky commentary on 8th December 2004 when Stevie scored the necessary third goal for Liverpool to continue the ultimately successful Champs league campaign.

Martin Tyler: “Mellor. Lovely cushion header. For Gerrarrrrrrrrrrrd”.

Andy Gray: “Argggggggh. You beautyyyyyyyyyy! What a hit son! Take a bow son!”

Even reading the words sends a tingle down my spine. It makes me think of a tremendous athlete with a prodigious talent basically being a one man team. And that’s the point – I don’t want to think of anything else when I think of Stevie G. Already, that image has been chipped at because of his recurring serious injuries (barring the ridiculous ‘infected toe’ we had last season – at least give it a Latin name or something to make it seem less pathetic!). All the talk during Euro’s from Stevie and pundits alike has been of the sort, “can’t run from box to box anymore”, “need to adapt my game”, “more defensive / deep lying positions”.

When I hear that I want to shout “Nooooooo!” I want the Stevie G of my early adulthood I want him flying from box to box, doing a goal saving challenge one minute and then fizzing a piledriver towards the goal the next. I’ll be honest I don’t want a chicken tikka-takka 5 yard pass to Scott Parker, I want a 60 yard cross field ball to Ashley Young. But then I check myself and realise what I’m asking for some kind of Dorian Gray type affair for me and my loved ones. I’d like to be able to eat like a pig and not put on weight like I was 18, I’d like my Dad to have a full head of hair, I’d like Ricky Gervais to be funny again. However, we’ve all got older and need to adapt. I need to exercise portion control (which I don’t so am beset with an expanding belly), my Dad needs to keep his hair short (which he thankfully he does) and Ricky maybe needs to take a break for a while.

I need to accept that Stevie needs to adapt to his aging legs and muscles. I considered using the old adage “getting better with age like a fine wine” but then dismissed it because, let’s be clear here, this is not a new, improved Gerrard it’s an old and slightly worse Gerrard. The current reporting around Gerrard would have you believe that Gerrard has made all these recent, positive changes to his game and become a better player – what tosh. Gerrard has always had these defensive skills and short ball passing in his locker – it’s just that he also had more energetic and skilful stuff which was far more exhilarating to concentrate on. However, the standard Stevie displayed means that even with said deterioration he is still a mighty fine midfielder and is rightly being hailed as England’s stand out performance this tournament.

So I’ll congratulate Stevie on adapting his game so he can still contribute at the highest level with both club and country but I’ll make no excuse that when Gerrard gets involved in a neat, defensive passing triangle with Lescott and Parker I’ll start to drift off with “Take a bow son” ringing in my ears.

 @forcefrewgood